The year is half over already. It is so hard to believe that I have already made it through half of my first year teaching. I recently read an article in one of the VEA magazines about new teachers and the cycle that they’re first year of teaching takes. It talked about the phases of how your first year will probably go. I really wish I had read that article before I started teaching because it would have been comforting to know as I began my decent through the stages. The first stage was described as the anticipation phase. I remember how excited I was about having my first classroom, but I think the anticipation stage also includes immense amounts of nervousness. The time before I was hired contained a lot of anticipation as well. I only had 9 days in between the time I was hired and the first day of school so that time was an absolute world wind for me. I remember thinking about some amazing ideas of things that I would love to do and how I was going to implement things in my classroom. I really wish I had spent more time writing things down because during that time there were just so many thoughts flying through my head that as soon as one left another came through. I wish I had spent more time thinking about what I would do if something I had planned didn’t go so well to help prepare myself for the unexpected.
The next stage was described as the survival stage. I feel like that one took a little while to set in. It was probably after my first observation that I was snapped back to reality and had to readjust many things. The amount of time I was spending in my classroom was incredible. My weekends were filled with preparing different things and thinking about lessons. The amount of money I spent has put me in debt for a long time. I never realized how much money I would need to spend on different things that I wanted for my classroom. Books are probably where I have spent the most money. Luckily those will last me for years to come as well as carry with me from grade to grade.
Following the survival stage there is the disillusionment stage. This stage hit me like a brick wall. From what I read, this is the stage where most people question their career choice. Luckily for me, this thought has still never crossed my mind, even when people ask me if I wish I had done something else, I couldn’t imagine doing anything different. I have an extreme passion for this profession and it’s why I wake up in the morning and get here early. I want to make it the best for my kids. Although I do love my job, I did find myself stuck in the disillusionment stage. I felt like I was falling behind more and more and didn’t have any idea how to catch up. I began to feel like I was failing my kids and that they were losing interest. I could not wait for winter vacation. I knew that I needed a break to rejuvenate myself.
I came back feeling incredible refreshed and ready to take on all of the challenges that I have ahead of me. Teaching my first intersession was definitely an eye opening experience for me. Having a mixture of all of the second graders was quite different and difficult. I knew most of them which helped but when you have only a week to work with them, do you really want to spend time disciplining the ones that are causing problems? I gained a new found appreciation for my class during that time. Coming back this week has given me the push to keep going and to work hard for the kids. It is obvious to me now what types of lessons work well with them and what doesn’t. I know them all pretty well now so I know how to deal with them. I admit that I do need a lot of work on my behavior management, but I feel that it is coming along. I spent time recently looking back at the pictures that I took of my kids on the first day of school. I was amazed to see how they have all grown so much already! They came to me as babies and they are truly growing into a group of kids. I would have never noticed it as much if I hadn’t looked back at those pictures. This is a class that I will never forget. How could I? It’s my first one! They have taught me so much this year already. In this first half of the year I have already learned more about teaching than I did in my four years of college. There is just so much college can’t teach you and you need to figure it out on your own. I have spent a lot of time researching different things and thinking about how I can change myself to help them. I continue to grow and can’t wait to look back and see how far I have come this year.